A New Chapter: God Takes Care of Our Dreams
I remember the night I failed my first college test.
It was in my Microeconomicsxs class. I was so discouraged because I was sure that I wanted to major in Business. It had been my dream to have a business someday, and I knew I wanted to be a Business major in order to help me achieve that goal.
This class was a clear sign, however, that it wasn’t meant to be. I stubbornly proceeded on the Business track the following semester; I sat through my Calculus class for one day, and then I never went back. Being a business major wasn’t my calling, clearly.
A couple days later, I found myself really second guessing what in the world I was doing in college, and if I would truly find my calling there.
I remember frantic phone calls with my parents discussing with them what in the world I was going to do, as if I were running out of time.
“I felt so lost. So helpless. So unsure. ”
What is a calling anyways? Is it our dreams? Is it our ambitions? I didn’t exactly know. All that I did know was what it wasn’t. Or, maybe I didn’t know anything at all. Maybe I was afraid of what my calling could be.
Soon after I closed the Business major chapter, I received a card in the mail from my mom. It read, “God Takes Care of Our Dreams.”
I was moved to tears, not because of how perfectly timed it was, but because I knew it was true. The Lord does take care of my dreams, and He always has.
I needed that card then, and just as much as I needed it that day, I still need it now.
“I still need to be reminded that I’m not here by happenstance — that I was created for a grander purpose than to wake up everyday and wonder what I am doing with my life. ”
I just graduated from college this past Saturday and I’m feeling more grateful now than ever before that God takes care of my dreams.
If He hadn’t of stopped me in my tracks freshman year, I wouldn’t be writing, and The Lord knew then that in order for me to muster up the courage to wrestle my story onto paper someday, I would need to first realize my heart for the written word.
This gratefulness hasn’t come without a cost, however.
I remember spending days, weeks, and sometimes (it felt like) months trying too hard to listen to the rest of the world tell me what I needed to do with my life, when all the while the answer was clearly being written before my eyes. But, I kept running from it.
I was scared of what the Lord might ask me to do. I was afraid that He would use my deepest passions to scribble out my darkest moments. I am not brave enough, I argued with Him.
But, the Lord took care of my dreams, and even when I detested the very idea, He did not give up on what He knew my heart desired, needed, and wanted with every ounce of my being, even when it didn’t seem like anything I wanted at all.
“The Lord used my imperfections, uncertainty, and doubt in myself to cultivate His purpose for me. ”