Bestie for the Restie? To the Girl Who Wonders if Friendship is For You
I’ve always been envious of the girl “with a lot of girlfriends.” I mean how does she make it look so easy? Out with friends, surrounded by her “besties” all while doing the “sorority pose” in an Instagram picture. She makes friendship look simple.
Friendship has always been hard for me. I consider myself an extrovert, but I blame anxiety for the days when being an introvert is just a lot easier. And sometimes that has brought me more trouble and loss than good.
I had a best friend through preschool and elementary school and after that, we fell apart. Since then, it hasn’t been easy to keep a forever friend.
Through middle school and high school, friendship got no easier. I remember being accused of “using people” and of just “being weird” because at times I would fall in and out of friendships, searching for fulfillment, and always left wondering why I was often the last to call or text a simple, “How are you doing?”
The hard part about it was that I never meant to be a person that drifted away. Sometimes I just wondered if friendship was made for me.
“It took me until college to realize that not all people are meant to come into our lives and stay forever. That not all burnt bridges meant I was stuck on the other side forever. ”
Not only that, but that not every picture that I see on Instagram of a girl with her fifteen best friends is an accurate depiction of one girl’s worth.
I think having a lot of friends is wonderful, but my worth can’t be found in what fifteen friends think of me. Nor can it be found in how many of my friendships fell apart.
My worth can be found in the friends that have decided to stick around, call me up when anxiety is causing me to be an introvert, or just text me at random with a simple “I hope you are doing well today, friend!”
“I can find my worth in the friends that have proved me wrong and taught me that friendship is a friend to me. That friendship was made for me. ”
Maybe the Lord didn’t give me a best friend from day one, but He sure has given me a few good friends that keep showing up.
And a few good friends is just enough.
With love,
Brittany Jeanine